Just look at them.
Photo: The Late Show with Stephen Colbert / YouTube
This week’s major event was a repeat of last week’s major event. Jeff Bezos’ space nonsense was jokingly a pale echo of Richard Branson’s space nonsense. Everyone had a nice laugh at how phallic Bezos’ rocket was, a relatively toothless thing to make fun of. Don’t get it wrong – wild shit happened this week. It just wasn’t really monologue feed. A composer for the opening ceremony of the Olympics resigned after people found out he had made a disabled child eat feces. There’s a big strike at Frito-Lay. A Witcher anime comes out. Still, many monologues this week focused mostly on quotes from books about Trump. I am no longer interested in Trump books. I want to hear from Shein-Hauls!
With the nation maybe somehow sliding back into another pandemic, nothing particularly fun centering his current comment. Climate crisis? Too sad. Rhinanna? PDA pictures are fun, but one can only talk about size-inclusive lingerie for so long. Here’s what came in best late at night this week.
Desus and Mero should always wallow in the dirt. All attempts to make their show tastier and less online / perverted are (1) rude and (2) unwelcome. Before the actual show begins, Desus Nice and the Kid Mero discuss the hottest topics of the day, and that Thursday they were presented with nasty content in a row: a light that simulates jerking off an uncircumcised penis, a competition to be found China’s most agile sperm, MILF talk. The moderators worked their way through the material with ease, but first made sure that producer Julia wasn’t too cold to do her job. You can be angry and considerate folks. Note.
First of all, we’d like to praise Tooning Out the News last week for being one of the few shows that even mentions the murder situation in Haiti. The Late Show seems to have postponed all of the prickly political talk to the Paramout + spin-off, which allows Stephen Colbert in live action to focus on mocking the appearances of various Republican senators. This week, the established idiots at Inside the Hill took a moment to think about climate change … now that this is Napa Valley wine. There was also a lovely moment of the hillbilly when one of the experts put on his best hick suit to get in with the little folks. Tooning Out the News is where you want to go for really mean cutting edge comedies.
Fake facial hair always delivers. Both Kate Beckinsale and Jimmy Fallon wore beards for their interview on The Tonight Show, and it was great fun. A beard stands Beckinsale, accentuating her already clipped cheekbones in ways you would not have thought medically possible. Fallon kept his beard on for his interview with Fred Armisen, which prompted Armisen to find a fake mustache as well. He just has fake staches lying around! That makes sense, but it’s good to confirm.
Twitter rightly pointed out that one of the joys of I Think You Should Leave is that it reinvents English. The show puts words together in novel ways, with rhythms that are just funnier than normal English. Tim Robinson’s interview with Seth Meyers wavered from anarchy for most of its duration. It ended up going all the way when Meyers misunderstood the name of Robinson’s show. That kind of led to the two arguing over whose show has the unnecessarily long name. When Meyers pointed out that I think you should go with Tim Robinson is even longer than I think you should go, Tim went to the full ITYSL character and insisted that the “Tim Robinson” not go over in the title think about it because “that’s not my” name, that’s the title. “What? “That’s not talking about me!” Robinson insisted on the title I Think You Should Go With Tim Robinson. Got it? It’s not about him. It’s just the title.
A tragic moustached Jason Sudeikis joined Stephen Colbert for one of the best parts of The Late Show: inventing fake backstories for little puppies. Sudeikis and his funny bull’s-eye sweater helped get pups adopted from a shelter by making up funny lies about them, like one of them inventing the “add 30 seconds” button on the microwave. Another is technically a saint! Another attacks the camera, which is always fun. My only complaint is that Sudeikis does not provide enough support for a puppy’s rump when it is held.