JONATHAN COULTON, HOST:
This is ASK ME ANOTHER from NPR. I am Jonathan Coulton. Here is your host, Ophira Eisenberg.
OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:
Thanks, Jonathan. We play with comedians Carmen Lynch and Liz Miele. Are you ready for another
CARMEN LYNCH: Yes.
LIZ MIELE: Oh yes.
EISENBERG: Okay. Liz, you wrote a book about cats, so this game is about dogs.
MIELE: Oh, so mean.
EISENBERG: Okay, it’s a real or a fake game. So we’re giving you a breed of dog, and you’re just going to tell us if it’s a real breed that is recognized by the American Kennel Club or a fake breed that we just invented. So the answer is only real or wrong, and we’ll go back and forth here as well. Carmen, this is for you.
EISENBERG: Little Münsterländer. It’s a little …
LYNCH: Fake. Counterfeit.
EISENBERG: (Laughter) Münsterländer – it’s actually real. That is real. This is a real …
EISENBERG: That is a hunting dog that after …
MIELE: Made of cheese?
EISENBERG: … Münster region in Germany. That’s so funny.
COULTON: (Laughter) The cheese dog. It’s one of those cheese dogs, yes.
EISENBERG: Yes, the cheese comes from Munster, France, so the dog comes from Munster, Germany. And I think – it means not to be confused, but I’m sure that gets confused all the time.
MIELE: Yes. I thought 100% …
EISENBERG: All the time.
MIELE: … For example, there is no cheese dog. I have you, Carmen. It is wrong.
COULTON: All right Liz, real or fake – giant Chihuahua.
COULTON: (Laughter) Yeah, it’s totally wrong. Although…
MIELE: That actually sounds terrifying.
MIELE: That sounds like them – like “Honey, I Blow Up The Kids”.
MIELE: … When they make small things bigger.
COULTON: Yes. I’m just envisioning an 80-pound dog that is the same proportions as a Chihuahua, but only very large (Laughter).
COULTON: And it looks kind of gross.
EISENBERG: All right, Carmen – Teddy Roosevelt Terrier.
LYNCH: You know what? I think this is real. I think I heard about it.
EISENBERG: Oh yes, that’s right.
LYNCH: Oh yeah, Teddy.
EISENBERG: It’s a – yes. It is a short-legged rat terrier named after President Roosevelt. I suppose President Roosevelt had many pets. He had a little bear named Jonathan Edwards. He had a lizard named Bill, guinea pig named Admiral Dewey, Dr. Johnson, Bishop Duane, Fighting Bob Evans, and Father O’Grady. He had a pig named Mud. He had a badger. He had a blue macaw. He had a hen.
LYNCH: And a dirty house.
MIELE: Yes, yes.
COULTON: Yes. But I have to say it sounds like he read your description of how to properly name a pet.
EISENBERG: I know. It’s perfect.
MIELE: I thought so.
LYNCH: I thought so too.
MIELE: I thought that was pretty good.
LYNCH: Dr. Johnson.
COULTON: I like the little bear named Jonathan Edwards. That’s nice.
EISENBERG: I love that.
MIELE: Oh my god. Big fan. Big fan.
MIELE: Go, Teddy, go. You did it.
COULTON: All right, Liz. Here’s one for you – Rowlf Terrier.
MIELE: It sounds like it’s made up of the Muppets. I say no (laughter).
COULTON: Yeah, it’s made up of the Muppets. You are absolutely right.
EISENBERG: Completely composed of the Muppets.
MIELE: I love the muppets.
COULTON: (Laughter) Rowlf is of course the piano-playing dog …
MIELE: Yes. And he is…
COULTON: … of indefinite race.
EISENBERG: We don’t know.
MIELE: And honestly, he – even though he – Fozzie Bear is the comedian, Rowlf – I really identify with Rowlf because he just always struggles and doesn’t really believe in his talent. And I just thought we were more like Rowlf.
COULTON: (Laughter) More Rowlf than Fozzie.
MIELE: Because Fonzie thinks he’s funny. Which comedian do we know who actually thinks they’re funny?
LYNCH: Nobody. Not the funny ones.
EISENBERG: Good, Carmen. This is your last.
EISENBERG: Bohemian Shepherd.
LYNCH: Bohemian Shepherd sounds wrong to me. Counterfeit.
EISENBERG: I’m sorry. That is real.
EISENBERG: Yes. According to the American Kennel Club, it is distinguished by dog dancing.
EISENBERG: This is a competition event in which the dogs – and their trainers, by the way – perform a choreographed routine.
EISENBERG: Don’t I remember correctly that a group like this won “America’s Got Talent”?
LYNCH: You know, it’s possible. I remember doing this show and running into a guy who was jumping into mousetraps.
LYNCH: This show has it all.
COULTON: All right, Liz. Last. It’s for you – Australian stump tail cattle dog.
MIELE: I think it’s real, but I want to advocate for a new name.
LYNCH: Yeah, who wants to be called dumb?
EISENBERG: It’s terrible, isn’t it?
COULTON: Yes. You’re right. It’s a real dog.
COULTON: And it’s actually an Australian shepherd dog, and it’s got a blunt tail.
MIELE: That goes to mine – that’s something of an anti-naming thing. You don’t just choose properties and make …
COULTON: That’s right.
MIELE: That’s a name with low self-esteem. I do not like it.
EISENBERG: Right. It’s like setting up this breed from the start that has no value.
LYNCH: That’s a comedian. This dog is a comedian.
EISENBERG: You both did that – thank you. Many Thanks. And you did a fantastic job. Carmen Lynch hosts the podcast “The Human Centapod”, which is also broadcast on Sirius XM. The new book by Liz Miele is “Why cats are” [Expletive]. “Liz, Carmen – thank you very much.
LYNCH: Thank you very much.
MIELE: Thank you.
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